20 degrees and i’m stuck inside…

So i’m in the lovely sunny London atm, I can see the blue sky out the window and I’m watching people post online sitting out in a pub garden or enjoying a BBQ. Then there’s me, over 4 weeks in hospital and i’ve barely been outside. I got transferred down the road to another hospital the other day for some tests so i got out for a brief moment whilst transferring… otherwise, right now i’m so jealous of everyone enjoying this amazing weather. Especially in the UK. i mean it’s April and it’s sunny and hot! What I would kill to get outside in this weather and enjoy it. It’s not that simple however, the anxiety about london air, then the car fumes, then the pollen, then what if someone is smoking outside… I feel like i’m actually doing okay at the moment and I always feel like i’m just one breath away from having a bad attack and setting myself back weeks.


Its hard living live always feeling like i’m on the edge of another attack or another hospitalization but I have to be over cautious or I end up stuck in hospital and never get home. If i just take it easy and don’t do much then i can get home and enjoy some freedom. If i overdo it now i risk being stuck in for weeks… I’m really hoping it’s just going to be another few more days in hospital of tests and then i can go home. So I don’t need any set backs! My lungs need to behave themselves…


So to all you amazing people who are sat outside right now enjoying the sun and having a nice drink… Think how lucky you are that you can enjoy the simple things in live. Even breathing some nice fresh air, not circulated hospital air!




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