And so here I am, still putting up with living yet another day and another night in a hospital bed. I take for granted how used to it I am now, but my friend visiting her nan who was completely unused to hospitals and most medical things made me realise how much of a borderline nurse I am.
For me my day consists of regular Obs (observations – blood pressure, heart rate, sats, temperature, respiratory rate etc), medication rounds in which I probably have nearly a pharmacy of medications, waiting for doctors to come round and see us each morning and tell us all of nothing helpful or useful so you have no idea what is actually happening half the time other than they are adding more medication to my already huge pile of meds, waiting for meals that you aren’t actually hungry for but the three meals breaks up the day… Then the occasional nap because you can’t sleep for more than a couple hours at a time so you are so exhausted, then after that it’s just people watching. That person that has dementia who is shouting funny things, or the grumpy lady who you either want to murder or laugh at depending on how sleep deprived you are. This is my day, my entire day. Every day. When i’m feeling up for it, sometimes I read, or I watch stuff on my laptop… however when your really ill sometimes even doing that is hard.
This routine is more normal to me than being at home, being at home I feel lost even making my own food and drink. Having nobody to help pick me up of the floor when I fall down, having no nurse to call when I can’t breathe well at 2am, having no help to have a wash in the morning… For me now it’s more normal and easier living in hospital than home. That’s how much i’m here.
I’m hoping there may be a transfer ahead in the near future to get me to a specialist hospital,i’m due in a couple weeks but hopefully I can get there sooner to save being here for two weeks as until I can get off this oxygen theres no hope in me going anywhere…